Wednesday, 22 April 2015

My home was a hell for me

Raju  left home after his class 10th  public examination wanting to find a healthier environment for his future studies. He joined a college and got a place in a hostel, however he found it hard to concentrate on his studies.  His plans did not materialize as he thought that a change from home would settle matters.  He could not focus on his study and found it hard to have close friends. Often he would spend free time alone, trying to fill up the time with anything that comes handy. He knew that he could not continue in this manner.
Raju tried to make himself calmer and less anxious about his problems.  He thought he would get the help of his hostel warden.  He tried to approach him but something held him back.  He made many attempts over the year to reach the office of his warden and seek some help. Every time he made the effort some unknown power kept him back.  Finally, plucking up courage one day he got himself to the office of the warden.  He started with something but could not continue.  He said: “I would like to tell you something, but I am not able to”.  The warden told Raju that he could write and bring to him what he struggles to bring out and he did that very willingly.  Raju had a one liner: “I was sexually abused by my grand father when I was in class three”. He put his head down unable to utter a word. It took the skill and patience of the warden, a professional counselor, to help Raju to enter into his personal story which he kept hidden for years.

That was the beginning of a long journey to recovery from sexual abuse in childhood.  In fact over the months that followed Raju broke down number of times as he narrated bit by bit the story of his nightmare in his maternal grandfather’s house.  He never wanted to step into that house, however his mother would force him to go with him. He remained a victim of such a terrible experience till he left home. His home was hell for him. It took more than a year of regular therapy and counselling that brought Raju back to a normal and psychologically healthy life.  Sheer determination and the willingness to work through the pain of abuse gave  new life to Raju. Today he is a happy and healthy young man completing his graduation. 

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