Joy in meeting and knowing people during the phases of my life and at the same time it's so sad while leaving people whom I get acquainted parting from one and other either by transfer, shifting homes,moving places for betterment's, etc. Most of the time, all that go along with us is just the sweet memories of the past which would be history very soon; But as for me, it would mean a million's of bundles of memory in my life.
yes..... Today I cried.......
My throat choke......
No words...... No expressions.......
My eyes became wet with tears......
Rolling down my cheeks, pearls dropping down on to the ground......
Heart was full of pain and satisfaction and gratitude .......
I met the person who made my life so beautiful ....... and so miserable in thoughts....
There is a saying: "God cannot be everywhere therefore he made mothers".
In the same way God provides us with good people around in our day- to-day life to experience His love and care to every human being..... In my life, I'll always remain grateful to God for providing the person whom I can never ever forget.....
For the way he has engulfed my very being with characters filled with LOVE, AFFECTION, HATE REDNESS, SADISM, BITTERNESS and so on which made me an wholesome of a person of me within me.... vehemently speaking in all off my moods his presence was part of me, engrossed. Perhaps, I should say, HE IS ONE IN TWENTY THOUSAND. Other than him I haven't met any other person in my life multiple and typical characteristics having patience, broad mindedness and at the same time very understanding. I guess here after my life is going to be a puzzle, for I'M hopping in to new era. I'm not afraid to face this part of life by God's grace, and for the motivation by the person who encouraged me to be self confident in all manner of life and that, I believe, would help me to solve new era's puzzle quite easily.
I cried..... the thought of leaving and missing him disturbed me a lot ..... Every beginning has an end....! Perhaps! One fine day I'll have to leave my past, place, people and the person who is so dear to me and head towards new beginning's, to another stage of life; It's so painful! Eyes are week but the thoughts are strong......
At the end of the day, The truth is that, we are all passengers traveling the train of life, board the train at our stations and get off the train at our destinations; meanwhile, we come across co-passengers with different intentions, categories and different morals-we get to know them for a particular time and we tend to leave behind the past, as the time flows as a stream towards us while we are heading forward. This is the reality of life.......!
"A person who brings tears of gratitude is very valuable"
That person stood by me in every difficult situation of my life I am very grateful to God for gifting me such a wonderful person.
My heart aches with gratitude ....
In words, cannot express my feelings ...
Tears..... Tears.... and only tears ....
In life we meet very few people.
They are most precious!
This person's experience in life taught me many lessons; One among them is to be a genuine and practical person.
Not all of the humankind is gifted with the entire talents, clubbed together; they vary from one to another. From the childhood, parents like the children to be educated to the extremes but eventually most of the parents find their children unable to cope up with the education system but finds them participating in various activities such as involving themselves in sports, drawing/ painting, singing, playing instruments mechanical fields, photography, gardening, water sports and acting in movies etc... These are some inborn talents that pop up during the stream of education which need to be polished and nourished and most of all; they need the right encouragement to develop those hobbies into real skills.
A hobby is an activity you enjoy doing. It is something you do out of your own choice, something unique to your taste and talent. A hobby can enhance our well-being and can give meaning to our life. Just as physical exercise is important for the body, relaxing the mind is also essential. We need a balance in life. Work life can be quiet hectic and everybody needs some sort of activity to relieve their stress.
Hobby is not inborn inclination. It is developed through a constant effort. Hobbies play an important role in developing one's personality.People tend to become very mechanical if he or she does their routine work throw out the day so every person should have a hobby to keep himself active physically as well as mentally. Hobbies will enhance self-esteem and confidence. Most of the people depend upon external sources of pleasure and entertainment like: watching serials, movies, entertaining in gossiping and friends, but a hobby is something we do with an urge from within. We cannot always look on to others for relaxing or spending our free time. We should spend our precious time in doing something creative that would be beneficial for individual as well as the society around us.
Benefits of having hobbies:
Stress relief
Boosts self-esteem
Hobbies have physical health benefits
Hobbies make you happier
Hobbies helps in gaining knowledge
Hobbies are great way to make new friends and improve social skills
Fun
You will learn new things
Potential to make extra money
A list of some hobbies for adopting
Singing
Gardening
Sports
Yoga
Collecting stamps
Skating
Cooking
Photography
Reading
Blogging
Playing instruments
Knitting
Drawing
Getting in to physical activities promotes good health and having hobby allows you to acquire new skills and discover hidden talents. Cultivating hobbies will eventually lead you to meeting new people and you will find new friends while implanting your hobbies. There are numerous hobbies, choose one and whatever activity you choose, it will surely result to your advantage. Even if you do not have a hobby, do make the effort to develop one, it will improve your quality of life.
Raju left home after his class 10th public
examination wanting to find a healthier environment for his future
studies. He joined a college and got a
place in a hostel, however he found it hard to concentrate on his studies. His plans did not materialize as he thought
that a change from home would settle matters.
He could not focus on his study and found it hard to have close friends. Often he would spend free time alone, trying
to fill up the time with anything that comes handy. He knew that he could not continue in this
manner.
Raju tried to make himself calmer and less anxious about his
problems. He thought he would get the
help of his hostel warden. He tried to
approach him but something held him back.
He made many attempts over the year to reach the office of his warden
and seek some help. Every time he made the effort some unknown power kept him
back. Finally, plucking up courage one
day he got himself to the office of the warden.
He started with something but could not continue. He said: “I would like to tell you something,
but I am not able to”. The warden told
Raju that he could write and bring to him what he struggles to bring out and he
did that very willingly. Raju had a one
liner: “I was sexually abused by my grand father when I was in class
three”. He put his head down unable to utter a
word. It took the skill and patience of
the warden, a professional counselor, to help Raju to enter into his personal
story which he kept hidden for years.
That was the beginning of a long journey to recovery from
sexual abuse in childhood. In fact over
the months that followed Raju broke down number of times as he narrated bit by
bit the story of his nightmare in his maternal grandfather’s house. He never wanted to step into that house,
however his mother would force him to go with him. He remained a victim of such a terrible
experience till he left home. His home
was hell for him. It took more than a year of regular therapy and counselling
that brought Raju back to a normal and psychologically healthy life. Sheer determination and the willingness to
work through the pain of abuse gave new
life to Raju. Today he is a happy and
healthy young man completing his graduation.
In to this peaceful, pleasant and perfect world that God created, evil entered in various ways. and perfection resulted in imperfection which is manifested in personal grief, lack of hope, faith and trust and the loss of safety and security of human life. among all these, child sexual abuse is the most heinous evil that has been creeping into the minds of people of all ages, and it has ruined moral values and ethical life both in the family and society.
Lustful feelings and selfishness of man led human
life to go through painful experiences, and much of it occur in childhood
itself. Caretakers alone are sometimes
unable to protect children from painful experiences. Statistics presented by
various organizations working with children indicate that more than half the populations
of Indian children suffer from child sexual abuse in one form or other.
Sexual abuse is when any person, young, adult or child
forces, tricks, threatens, or coerces a child to have sexual contact with him
or her for the benefit of personal sexual excitement and satisfaction. Showing
children pornographic pictures or films or telling them explicitly sexual
stories can be a form of sexual abuse. Some children are forced or encouraged to
have sexual contact or intercourse with parents, uncles, grandparents, friends
of the family, and servants in the house. Other children have sexual contacts
with strangers. Most of the times one’s own family members make one the victim
of child sexual abuse but unfortunately parents are unable to understand the
children because lack of knowledge,
ignorance, illiteracy, fear of shame etc…
At times parents become only the birth givers not caretakers. Nowadays
most of the parents are busy working in the fields or at offices leaving their children
at home with someone or servants in the house.
Most parents think that they should give the best to their
children which make them keep earning money to give entertainment and
excitement through toys, dresses and all the material goods. However, they
forget the importance of caring for their children. Very
often the negligence of children by their parents becomes the root cause of the
horrible experience of sexual abuse in childhood. The literature that I have
read on child sexual abuse, the personal testimonies of survivors of child
sexual abuse and the experiences that people have shared personally with me make
me conclude that this is a reality which many face in today’s world.
How
to respond to a possible situation of sexual abuse
·If your child says that she/he does not want to play with uncle /
cousin / servant / brother etc… you need to pick up what the child wants to
say, but is unable to say. The child may
be trying to tell you that it is the victim of sexual abuse. She/he may say that uncle is not good or he is
bad. In such situations DO NOT scold the child or punish the child and defend
the good character of the uncle. The
child knows only the word “bad” and nothing more. Stay with the feeling of the child, and help
her or him to speak out more in a very gentle and non-intrusive way. You may take for granted that your child may
be in a situation of sexual abuse. It is here that you need to believe your
child. DO NOT believe the uncle or cousin or play down what your child says. You may be missing out the ONLY chance to
protect your ONLY child.
·The child may say that uncle did something bad to me. In such or similar situations you may ask the
child whether he touched her / him and whether that made her / him feel not
good. Allow the child to use her / his expressions and feelings. It is of utmost importance that you
communicate to your child that she / he is far more precious to you than the
uncle or cousin. A sense of security, homeliness, trust needs to be
communicated to the child. If your child
is made a victim of sexual abuse, then you are the BEST healer for her or
him. The process of healing will have
begun from the time the child feels unthreatened and protected by you.
·The next step in the process of dealing with possible abuse is to make
the child feel that no matter what has happened she / he is still your dearest
and best one. Help the child feel that
she / he is still good and that for you she / he matters much. These words have meaning only if you avoid
everything that would make the child feel negative about her or him. It is of utmost help if you rock the child on
your lap if she or he expresses signs of pain and discomfort and go along with
whatever she / he finds helpful to move on without remaining in negativity.
·NEVER BLAME OR PUNISH THE CHILD.
Parents are in the habit of blaming the child for whatever may go wrong
because it is easier to blame the child than the adult. Besides, the child
cannot defend itself. In no way your
child is responsible for what has happened (assuming something has gone
wrong). Never say: ‘You are a bad girl’
or ‘You are a bad boy’. To be labeled as
bad for innocent behavior is the greatest harm one can do to a child. Ensure that the so called ‘uncle’ or ‘cousin’
is blamed and the child should be helped to think and feel that it has done no
wrong. The blame is to go totally and
entirely to the perpetrator. The wrong is done by the perpetrator, whoever
that person is. The child must believe
that you know it.
·Ask the child whether she / he would like a change. For example a change in the driver who
transports her / him to the school; the shopkeeper who regularly supplies the
stationery; the teacher who takes tuition; the kitchen girl who prepares the
food etc… Remember the perpetrator of the
crime is very close to the child and is a confidant.
·Ensure the safety of the child in all contexts. If need be, change the location where the
child frequents or the school that she / he frequents. Protect the privacy of
the child as much as possible. It is of
utmost importance that no one gets a chance to make the child feel bad, sad and
ashamed. No matter how good your
intention is, any move that would re-victimize the child can have irreparable
psychological consequences on her / him.
·In case of legal complications, you need to understand that the
psychological well-being of the child is “above all the legal requirements” and
accordingly you should proceed with expert advice from competent persons as how
to protect the safe environment of the child.
This is a complex issue and one needs to handle it giving top priority for
the well-being of the child.
·REMEMBER, there is no one who is as capable and competent as you, the
parent, to bring the original innocence back to the child. She or he can be totally and completely made
well, in case sexual abuse has taken place, provided you stay with the child
with all the love you can pour out on her /him.
Pinki Virani states that “child sexual abuse
includes”:
·An adult exposing his or her genitals to a child or persuading the
child to do the same.
·An adult touching a child’s genitals or making the child touch the
adult’s genitalia
·An adult involving a child in pornography which includes showing a
child pornographic material.
·An adult having oral, vaginal or anal intercourse with a child
·Any verbal or other sexual suggestion made to a child by an adult
·An adult persuading children to engage in sexual activity among
themselves
·An adult inserting foreign objects into a child’s body for his, or her,
own sexual
gratification” some experts suggest:
How to protect your children:
·Inform children that it is wrong for adults to engage them in sexual
activity.
·Stress with your child that he or she
should feel comfortable telling you anything, especially if it involves another
adult. If your child does not feel comfortable being completely honest with you,
then together should find another trusted adult that your child can talk to in
confidence.
·Make an effort to know the people with whom your child is spending
time.
·Knowledge is power. This is especially true for protecting children
from sexual assault. Teach your children about their body parts and physical
growth; give them correct language to use when describing their private parts.
Emphasize that those parts are private.
·Make sure you know where your children are at all times. Know your
children’s friends and be clear with your children about the places and homes
they may visit. Make it a rule that your children inform you when they arrive
at or depart from a particular location and when there is a change in plan. You
should also let your children know if you are coming late or if your plans have
changed so that they can see the rule for safety purposes.
·Never leave children unattended in an automobile whether on running or at
halt. Children should never be left unsupervised or allowed to spend time alone
or with others in automobiles as the potential dangers to their safety outweigh
any perceived convenience or “fun”; remind children never to hitchhike,
approach a car or engage in a conversation with anyone in a car whom they do
not know or trust, or go anywhere with anyone without getting your permission
first.
·Spend more time with your children and indulge them in different activities.
As an active participant, you will have a better opportunity to observe how the
adults in charge interact with your children. if you are concerned about
anyone’s behavior, take it up with the appropriate person.Listen to your children. Be a careful listener to your child. In their conversation with you they let you know many a thing of their priorities- whether being with someone or going somewhere. This may be an indication of more than a personality conflict or lack of interest in the activity or event. Take special notice and explore what make your child say, "That uncle is bad". In such situation never scold or punish your child, instead find out why he/ she makes such a statement.
·Notice when someone shows to one or all of your children a great deal
of attention while giving them gifts. Take time to talk to your children to
know more about them and their behavior.
·Teach your children that they have the right to say ‘no’ to any
unwelcome, uncomfortable, or confusing touches or actions by others. Teach them
to inform you immediately if this happens. Reassure them that you are there to
help and it is okay to tell you anything.
· Be sensitive to any changes in your children’s behavior or attitude.
Encourage open communication and learn how to be an active listener. Look and
listen to small cues and clues that something may be troubling your children,
because children are not always comfortable disclosing disturbing events or
feelings. This may be because they are concerned about your reaction to their
problems. If your children do confide problems to you, strive to remain calm, non-critical
and non judgmental. Listen compassionately to their concern and work with them
to get the help they need to resolve the problem.
·Be sure to screen babysitters and caregivers. Check references with other
families who have used the caregiver or babysitter. Once you have chosen the
caregiver, drop in unexpectedly to see how your children are doing. Ask your
children how the experience with the caregiver was, and listen carefully to
their responses.
·Practice basic safety measures for your children while going out for shopping
in a mall or a park. Teach your children the awareness of identifying the
behavior of strangers at these places. Give them the education of dressing
sense to dress modestly
·Remember there is no substitute for your attention and supervision.
Being available always and sparing time to know and listen to your children
helps them build confidence in you and have a feeling of safety and security.
·Also remember that in the vast majority of cases, almost 90% of the children
are molested by someone they know, and are acquainted with the family. Your efforts
in keeping your child safe must be your priority. Child
sexual abuse takes place in a trusted context. Informed by this fact do not be focused
exclusively on the danger that strangers may present.
·Finally believe your child.
Children usually do not lie sources: Images www.frontpagemag.com www.eschooltoday.com youtube.com
